Columns

Ok..so here's where Gaz and Danny become journalists.

The columns page is going to be filled with write ups about almost anything from reviews

of the latest films to reviews about the things to do in and around Morley.

Alien Autopsy

** (12A)

Peter Bradshaw
Friday April 7, 2006
The Guardian

The undisputed kings of ITV light entertainment, Ant and Dec, have chosen a frankly bizarre vehicle for their movie debut. But it's not without laughs, and sheer brazen effrontery carries it some way. They play two real-life chancers from Britain, Ray Santilli and Gary Shoefeld, who in the mid-90s unveiled a grainy film of an "alien autopsy" they said they had bought in the US.

Now Santilli and Shoefeld reveal that their film was fake - via this fictionalised comedy mockumentary of which they are executive producers - but are also claiming that they did have a real alien autopsy film (honest!), which was damaged on the flight home, and which they had to replace with a phoney autopsy staged in a London flat. They are clearly having their extra-terrestrial cake and eating it, but the combination of oddity and Arthur Daley cheek made me smile sometimes: like a Sunday Sport front page about Elvis on the moon.

 

Failure to Launch

* (Cert 12A)

Peter Bradshaw
Friday March 31, 2006
The Guardian

Once again, Matthew McConaughey creates an aura, a force-field of unfunniness. A man-sized block of Unfunny Kryptonite from the Planet Unfunny, killing off all the funny within a 1,000-yard radius.

Here he is in another of his noncom-nonrom-romcoms, playing a thirtysomething commitmentphobe who still lives with his mom and dad, in a manner that consciously overlooks all comic potential. (Try to imagine Will Ferrell's character in Wedding Crashers - only unfunny.)

Sarah Jessica Parker is the undercover lifestyle consultant secretly hired by his parents to lure their boy into a phoney relationship which will loosen the mental umbilical cord. Naturally, she falls for him.

 

Hostel

* (Cert 18)

Peter Bradshaw
Friday March 24, 2006
The Guardian

A couple of years ago there emerged a moderate frat-boy comedy called EuroTrip, and it had one good gag. A bunch of American teen backpackers in Europe, finding themselves in a godforsaken post-Soviet hellhole and discovering that they are all out of local currency, pool whatever American cash they have on them. It comes to around a dollar and 13 cents. "What can you get here for that?" ponders one, peering round at the wrecked municipal housing and the rabid dogs scavenging in corners. Cut to: an absurdly lavish private room in something that looks like a 19th-century brothel, with our smirking heroes about to get the best of everything, including champagne and women.

 

Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

** (U)

Peter Bradshaw
Friday April 7, 2006
The Guardian

Ice Age 2
The first Ice Age was a perfectly decent family animation for younger kids. This sequel is merely competent. The idea now is that the ice age is coming to an end, and Manny the Mammoth (Ray Romano), Diego the Sabre-Toothed Tiger (Denis Leary) and Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) must survive the cracking ice and rising floodwaters.

Manny here falls in love with a lady mammoth who thinks she's a possum. Once again, there is an entirely separate silent-movie plot involving a Road-Runner-ish rodent scampering after an acorn; basically a superior short film split up into little bite-sized episodes. It's been designed and marketed to capitalise on the first film's popularity; the spark of real magic isn't there.

 

She's the Man

* (12A)

Peter Bradshaw
Friday April 7, 2006
The Guardian

There have been some very smart American high school pictures paying homage to Shakespeare: but this notional twist on Twelfth Night is dire. Cute teen Viola (Amanda Bynes) dresses as a boy to get into the school soccer team - inevitably coached by Vinnie Jones.

She falls in love with her hot dorm-mate Duke Orsino (Channing Tatum) at Illyria High, who is in love with Olivia (Laura Ramsey). Bynes has a very weird-looking kookiness, and she's not a natural comic, to put it mildly. One for the tweenie-female demographic.

 

Film reviews from The Guardian - http://film.guardian.co.uk/Reviews/Front/

 

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